


It Won't Be Enough

by BookMeDanny



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Time, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4536171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookMeDanny/pseuds/BookMeDanny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Steve was a teenager his mom told him that the best way to get over someone was to fall for someone else, and after risking his team because of his feelings for Danny, he really needs to get over him already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Won't Be Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hey,
> 
> So this fic finally got me out of my writer's block!
> 
> I want to say thank you to the AMAZING Lynda ([AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyndalanz/pseuds/lyndalanz), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lyndalanz)) without whom this fic wouldn't have been half as good! She's such a great Beta and friend, and I learned so much from her from her notes on this fic alone! Seriously, not only did she fix all of my mistakes (All the remaining ones are completely my fault!) and helped me so much with her opinions on this, but without her it would probably have taken me like two more weeks to finish! So honey, thank you again so much, you are wonderful!
> 
> This is my longest fic yet, and it's an idea I had brewing around in my mind for a while. I would absolutely love to hear what you thought about it!  
> Thanks so much, enjoy!

For a long time now, Steve McGarrett knew that he was officially fucked. Fucked and delusional. What a great combination. He couldn't help it, though. No matter what he tried, those feelings just wouldn't go away, and by now he just learned to go with it.

He grabbed the pink towel from the beach chair and spread it wide for Gracie to step into it, quickly wrapping her up like a large, laughing burrito. They spent the last hour splashing around at the beach, swimming and throwing objects in the water, to race and see who gets them first (Fine, he might have let her win a time or ten, shut up). He quickly rinsed himself off and threw the towel on the lanai as they entered the house.

"Hey Monkey, did you have fun?" Danny asked Grace when she came to stand next to him, peaking into the oven to see how long until the pizza Danny made was ready. Danny was currently chopping up some vegetables to go with it, thought usually Steve was the only one that ate those.

And _that_ is why Steve was delusional. Because while he knew that this was nothing more than a friendly hangout, which happened whenever Danny had Grace for the weekend, his heart was telling him something different. He loved entering the house and seeing Danny in the kitchen, all comfortable and domestic, he loved spending time with Grace, making her laugh and teaching her about the ocean. In his mind, his very delusional mind, whenever they did this it was like he had his own little family. It felt so right, being there with the both of them, just what he always wanted, without even knowing it. Not knowing it at least up to the point he met a certain loudmouthed detective from New Jersey, when slowly but surely he became glaringly aware that this is exactly what he wanted. What he was missing.

"Yes, Danno, we had so much fun!" Grace bounced up and down, still clutching the towel around herself. "Steve taught me about whales, and I found the stick-lights first almost every time, so I won, and we swam and Steve promised to teach me how to surf but only after you and Mommy agree, and I'm _so_ hungry now!" She was talking really fast, still energized from before.

"That's great, Monkey" Danny laughed, smiling at Grace and then at Steve, who was leaning against the kitchen doorframe. "Now go change and then you can set the table. The pizza will be ready any minute" Danny assured, and Gracie ran past Steve to her room. To _Mary's_ room.

"You too, you big child" Danny laughed waving him away. "Go get dressed and the pizza will be ready. I even covered a third of it with pineapple for your disgusting ass" Danny said, rolling his eyes, as if it was a surprise that he did that. He's been covering a third of the pizza with pineapples every single time he made pizza since they started doing this thing.

'You love my disgusting ass' almost escaped Steve's lips. Instead he just nodded and went up to his room to change. He knew that this was getting out of hand. He knew that his feelings for Danny, this _love_ he has never felt towards anyone else, at least not in that way, was just clouding his vision too much. He knew that one day he would let something slip, something that could potentially ruin their friendship. And while Steve wanted more from Danny, wanted _everything_ from him, he was not about to give up their friendship. It was the most important thing in his life, _they_ were. Danny and Grace. He wasn't willing to give it up just because he's stupid and would eventually say something that would push Danny away. Because Danny wasn't gay, wasn't interested in Steve, and Steve just had to learn to deal with it.

At launch Gracie asked if she could try a slice of Steve's pineapple pizza, much to her father's very vocal dismay. She decided that she was ambivalent towards it at the end, stating "I know you love it, Uncle Steve, but I think I will stick with regular pizza. It's not that I don't like it, but I don't _love_ it" She explained, and Steve suspected that she was just trying not to hurt his feelings. The beaming smile that Danny shot his way made him smile in return, not even caring that he was on the losing side of this battle (which took place mainly in Danny's head).

As they sat on the couch, watching some Disney movie that Danny brought along a while ago and left there, Steve couldn't help but wish that he'd have this every day, and not just two Saturdays a month. Sure, he hung out with Danny a lot, but it was always just a few hours here, a few there. On those Saturdays, though, he had them for the whole day, breakfast 'till dinner, just like he wanted. He wasn't really sure how this tradition came about. He invited them one time, long ago, about a year into their partnership, saying that they should just come to the beach at his house instead of going to the over populated ones that were sure to give Danny a tourists-induced heart attack. The weekend after, Danny called and asked if it was okay that they'd come again, and that was it. From that moment on every other Saturday was _their_ Saturday. And Steve wanted it for the rest of his fucking life. Yes, he was fucked.

 

It was a few days later when he realized how fucked he actually was.

They finally got a break on the case they were working on, and decided to enter the warehouse without waiting for the SWAT team, fearing that the arms dealers would flee before the backup got there. Chin and Danny entered from the back and Steve and Kono from the front, all synchronized as always, shots ringing from everywhere. Steve ducked when the perp aimed at him and quickly shot him right in the chest. Once he moved to kick the gun out of the guy's hand he heard a scream that made him stop in his tracks. Danny's shocked scream was followed by two gunshots and suddenly Steve couldn't breathe. Another perp came out of nowhere, shotgun pointing straight at Steve's temple, but before he could make a move the guy was on the ground, shot in the head by Kono.

"Thanks" He breathed and checked the room to see if there were any other perps, before quickly moving to check on Danny, praying to God that he was okay.

Steve found him on the floor, holding his bad knee and cursing under his breath.

"You okay?" Steve asked, relieved.

"Moron slammed this into my knee" Danny nodded towards the guy that had two bullet wounds in his chest, an iron rod resting next to his lifeless hand.

Later, at the hospital's waiting room, waiting to see if Danny's knee was just hurting from the blow of if he tore his ACL again (Steve insisted that they'd go to the hospital right away, not wanting to risk Danny's knee getting even worse), Steve was driving himself crazy, pacing and running his hands in his hair.

How could he do this? How could he let his feelings effect his work? It was _bad_. It was _so bad_. He could have died, he could have put his team at risk, just because he was worried about Danny. What he should have done was not freeze up, he should have moved quickly, illuminating every threat in the room, and then moving to check on Danny. He knew that Chin had Danny's back then, he shouldn't have been so worried. He knew what the rational thing to do was, what his training _taught_ him to do, yet he didn't do it. _God,_ this was bad.

On the drive home, after hearing that Danny only had bad bruising and that he should only be on desk duty for three days or so, Steve was quiet. Danny tried to break the silence, talking a lot about nothing much, but Steve couldn't stop thinking about the stupid mistake he made.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow" Steve assured as he walked Danny to his apartment, Danny leaning heavily on him. Tomorrow he'd have his walking cane and won't be this painfully close to Steve. Steve would be taking the Camaro tonight since Danny couldn't drive.

"Steve, are you okay?" Danny asked quietly, searching Steve's eyes as Steve brought the cane to the couch where he put Danny.

"Yes" was all Steve said and then he headed to the door, "Goodnight".

He had to do something about it, he knew that. He had to get over Danny. He always knew that it wasn't healthy, pining for someone he had absolutely no chance of getting, but he didn't mind it before. He couldn't really help it, either. But, now? Now it was effecting his job, so it had to stop. He had to get over Danny. His mom's voice, the one from before she died and came back to life, rang in his head.

He remembered sulking after Amy told him she wasn't interested in him, but thank you. It took all the courage he had to ask her out and it crushed him that she didn't even want to consider it. He didn't leave the house for anything other than school and football practice for days. But then his mom cornered him in the kitchen one day and told him that the best way to get over someone was to fall for someone else, and that he won't be able to do that if he didn't get out of his funk. Not even a week later he met his next crush, Tom. Which didn't really amount to anything, since his mom 'died' and he was shipped away.

He wasn't kidding himself, he knew that he wasn't fifteen anymore and getting over Danny would be borderline impossible, much harder than some stupid teenage crush. But he had to try. He had to get over him. He must find someone else.

 

Steve got home, grabbed a Longboard, and went to sit on the lanai. The ocean always had a calming effect on him, it was where he felt most at ease, and he hoped that it would help, even just a little.

Steve knew, all of his life really, that he was bisexual, but since the academy he decided to push that part of him aside. 'Don't ask, don't tell' was still very much in place then, and it was just easier to date women. It's not like he didn't see men, he just did it under the radar and it was only sex. And it's not that he dated many women anyway, the only one coming close was Catherine, and neither of them defined that as dating.

So now, with DADT revoked and his mind set on dating, he decided to go to a gay bar, and not for the sole purpose of hooking up, for the first time in his life.

 

It took Steve a few days to finally man up and actually go to the bar. He spent part of the weekend searching gay bars in the area, looking for something that didn't scream 'sex'. All his life he only had meaningless encounters in the romance department, but after meeting Danny he knew that he wanted more. He wanted a relationship and a future with someone, and while he was pretty sure that the only someone he'd ever want those things with is Danny, he knew that he had to try.

Steve sat at the bar and ordered himself a Longboard. He swiveled in his chair, turning to look at the other guys that crowded the place. While there were a lot of people, it wasn't a crazy dance bar type of thing. There was music playing in the background and soccer (Really? Soccer?) playing on the TV, there were pool tables and darts, and really it was just like any other bar. Not overly sexed up at all. Good.

He saw some guys that caught his eye, but he knew that if he wanted to make a move he needed some liquid courage. Usually he had no problem of picking people up, men or women, but now with the whole relationship-shaped added pressure it was just getting to him.

"Can I buy you another?" said a voice coming from his right. Steve turned to see an attractive man, about his age, with a really captivating smile. He was leaning against the bar, nodding at his Longboard.

"Sure" Steve motioned to the chair next to him. "I'm Steve" He smiled, offering his hand.

"I'm Ariel" the guy said, sitting down and shaking Steve's hand. He looked nothing like Danny, with his chocolate skin and really short hair (God, he loved Danny's hair), and that little goatee. Good, that was good.

"Ariel?" Steve questioned after Ariel ordered two more Longboards. "Never heard that name for a guy before" He couldn't help but think about Gracie and the time they watched the Little Mermaid together. She would flip if she knew this guy's name.

"I know, it's not very usual. My father's Jewish and he really wanted to give me a Jewish name, so he chose the worst one he possibly could" He laughed, shaking his head, and Steve couldn’t help but being drawn in. "I go by Ari, though."

"Ari it is, then." Steve agreed. "Probably hear a lot of Little Mermaid comments, huh?" Steve couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Oh, like you wouldn't believe. I thank God every day that I was out of elementary school by the time that movie came out. Nobody wanted to admit that they knew her name, so I was saved" He laughed. "You've got kids?" He lifted one eyebrow. It was a safe assumption to make, based on his comment, but it still sobered Steve up a bit.

"No," He took a swig from the newly arrived beer bottle he was holding. "My partner has a daughter and she really likes that movie" Steve shrugged. Exactly two seconds passed before he mentioned Danny. Great.

"Your partner?" Ari had a worried look on and Steve realized how that sounded.

"Oh, no, not _partner_ partner. I'm a cop, he's my partner on the task force" Steve explained.

"A cop, wow. I wouldn't have guessed" Ari smiled, taking a swig from his beer.

"Well, I'm not exactly a cop actually" Steve explained, though he really didn't feel like talking about work. He wanted to steer clear as much as he could from all the Danny related topics. "I'm a Navy SEAL, but I started a task force here on the island about two and a half years ago".

"Wait, I've heard about that. Five 0, right?" Ari asked, leaning in closer. Steve should have loved the attention he was getting. Ari was hot as hell, with his muscles and tank top and those piercing eyes, and he seemed like a nice enough guy, yet it still felt so wrong to him.

"That's right" Steve smiled back, trying to shake those distracting thoughts from his head. _Fake it till you make it, right?_ "So Ari, what do you do?"

"I'm a scuba instructor. I have a little school up on Waikiki Beach, we teach all the tourists" That was good, they had stuff in common. They could go diving together, something that he would never ever be able to do with Danny, and this guy probably didn't hate this 'pineapple infested hellhole'. _Still wrong_.

"That's cool, I love diving"

"I figured as much, since you're a SEAL" Ari laughed, hand moving to rest on Steve's bicep. Steve tried hard not to flinch away, his thoughts once again drifting to how he never had that problem when it was Danny that was touching him.

The rest of the night went a little better for Steve. He and Ari talked a lot, about growing up on the island, Ari's job (Steve succeeded in not mentioning Danny again), their favorite music, favorite movies, family (Steve decided not to mention how his mom rose from the freaking dead), and pretty much all the usual getting to know each other topics. They exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet up that Friday for dinner. Geez, the only person Steve has ever had a dinner date with was Cath, and usually they just called them off, falling into bed instead. This should be interesting.

 

Later that week Steve was sitting at home, watching college football without paying much attention.

"Honey, I'm home" Danny opened the door, uninvited and without knocking, as usual. Steve wasn't complaining.

"Hey, what's up?" Steve turned to see Danny with a six pack of Longboards in one hand and a cane in the other. He was off the cane for two days now, and was already back in the field, so it worried Steve a little to see him back with it. "What's with the stick?"

"The knee was bugging me a little, no big deal" He shrugged and moved to sit next to Steve.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Dr. McGarrett" Danny rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't have lied about that and gone out of desk duty, you know me better than that. I wouldn't risk our team like that. _I_ , unlike some other people I know, am not a fan of intentionally putting myself or my partner in unnecessary dangerous situations." Danny ranted and Steve couldn't help but smile. He loved getting Danny all riled up, getting a reaction out of him.

"It's never unnecessary, Danno. I only do that stuff when it's the only choice" Steve knew he was pushing it.

"You're kidding me, right? Please tell me that you're kidding me"

Instead of answering he just shot Danny a smile and leaned over him to grab a Longboard. He did not think it through, having Danny this close, his whole body mere inches away, it was going to haunt Steve for days.

He knew that if he wanted to actually be able to get over him he needed some distance, but how could he get that? He couldn't lock Danny out of the house, or not spend almost every minute at work with him. He couldn't tell him not to come on Saturday, because that would break Gracie's heart, and pretty much Steve's as well.

And he couldn't risk losing their friendship. That was half the reason he was doing this thing to begin with. He just had to keep hanging out with Danny, suck it up, and hope that things work out with Ari.

After a moment of silence, not an awkward one, Danny preoccupied with opening his beer bottle and Steve preoccupied with Danny, they finally settled to watch the game. _The game, not Danny_ , Steve had to remind himself before downing half a beer.

 

"You okay, babe?" Danny asked that Friday night, as they walked out of the office and into the Camaro.

"Yes, why?" Steve didn't meet is eye, using the backing out of the parking spot as a none-verbal excuse.

"You seemed a little on edge today" Danny said, and Steve could practically feel his eyes on him. "And now, particularly" he added after careful observation.

"Not on edge"

"Right" Danny nodded, clearly not believing a word Steve was saying.

"Drop it, okay?" Steve didn't want to have this conversation right now.

"Fine, whatever" Danny huffed, exasperated. "You hungry? I was thinking we can go out to eat or something, my fridge is pretty much empty" Danny laughed.

"Um, I, huh…" guess they _were_ having this conversation now, "I can't tonight."

"Oh, why?" Danny asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

"I, huh… Have a date" Steve tried to sound as nonchalant about it as he could.

The silence was a moment too long, "Cath?" Danny asked confused. Rightfully so, since Steve hasn't been with Catherine in almost a year, though he did have a few friendly lunches with her and they talked on the phone a lot.

"Um, no. Ariel" Steve shrugged and he knew it was a cowardly move. He knew that Danny would think Ariel is a girl, but he didn't care. He wasn't ashamed of being gay, but it wasn't the most comfortable discussion to have after you hid it from someone close to you for so long, and he really couldn't take it right now, when he was so, _well_ , on edge, because of his date. He didn't really mean to hide it from Danny or Kono and Chin, it's just that with DADT he grew pretty used to hiding that part of himself and after some time passed he just wasn't sure how to bring it up. And it wasn't like he was seeing anyone, so it really didn't matter much.

"Ariel" Danny tried the name. There was something off in his voice for a second but when he opened his mouth a second time it was gone. "How long have you been seeing her?"

"First date" Steve shrugged.

"Date? As in more than just 'casual' like with the pretty lieutenant?"

"Yes"

"Wow, must be some girl. How do you know her?" God, Steve fucking hated this conversation.

"A bar, earlier this week" Steve said, and when Danny gave him a look that told him that he wasn't satisfied with the answer and that a statement of the 'more than casual' kind needed more explaining, he added "I just want more, you know? I mean, not specifically with Ariel, I'm just seeing how that goes, but I want something more serious, I guess" He shrugged again, concentrating on the road.

"Wow, never thought I'd hear you say that" Danny said honestly, which hurt a little.

"Why, am I that fucked up that it's so weird for me to want a relationship?" He lashed out, surprising Danny.

"What? No, no, that's not what I meant _at all_ " Danny assured, putting a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I just meant that you're not one to talk about your feelings. I don't think you're fucked up, well a little bit with all the grenades, and RPGs, and rocket launchers, but I don’t think it's weird that you want a relationship. I think that's _great_ " There was a red light so Steve turned to look at Danny, whose eyes were soft and truthful, and something else that Steve couldn't quite decipher, immediately making him feel guilty.

"Sorry, I'm just a little out of it" Steve shook his head.

"S'okay, Babe" Danny took his hand off of Steve, but not before giving him a gentle squeeze.

"And I don’t have rocket launchers" Steve laughed, lightening the mood.

"I don’t know whether to laugh or be genuinely concerned that you didn't deny the RPGs" Danny shook his head.

After Steve parked the car in front of his house, Danny made his way around to the driver's side. Danny stopped him from leaving with a hand on his shoulder. "Good luck tonight" He said genuinely and Steve just nodded in response.

 

Steve and Ari met up at a local restaurant that Ari knew, talking and laughing all night long. It felt good, being able to be open up like this, to see the clear affection in someone's eyes, to know that there's a possible future there and not just some one-sided stupid ass pining.

"So, tomorrow morning I'm taking a boat out to the Sea Tiger to do some diving," Ari smiled while digging into his cheesecake. "Do you wanna come?"

"I can't tomorrow" Steve felt bed, turning him down, but there was no way he was missing his Saturday. "It sounds great, though. We can do it some other time, maybe?"

"Yeah, sure, no worries" Ari seemed a little disappointed. "What've you got tomorrow?"

"Oh, I'm just, uh…" He wasn't sure how to explain in a way that won't seem weird. "Well Danny, my partner that I told you about, and Grace, his daughter, are coming over tomorrow, and we’re having a beach day and stuff" Steve shrugged.

"Sounds fun" Ari smiled, stuffing his mouth with cheesecake, much to Steve's amusement.

"Yeah, Gracie has been begging for surf lessons for months now, and Danny told me a few days ago that her mom finally agreed, so we're gonna start tomorrow" Steve couldn't hide the excitement in his voice if he tried. "I had my sister's old board fixed for her weeks ago" Steve laughed.

"Wow, you're a really good partner" Ari nodded, but something in the way he looked at Steve seemed off. "You're really close to his daughter, huh?"

"Yeah, she calls me Uncle Steve" Damn, was it bad that he sounded so damn proud of that fact?

"That's nice" Ari nodded.

Later Steve walked Ari to his car, and while he didn't feel the urge to kiss him, he did it anyway, going again by the 'fake it 'till you make it' motto he had running in his mind since he first decided to give dating a try.

It was a nice kiss, it wasn't special or earth shattering, but it wasn't bad. It felt good being close to someone, and when he broke it off it was a bit reluctantly. Ari smiled up at him, a content and happy look on his face.

"Want to come over Sunday night? I can grill us some steaks…" Steve suggested, not sure what more to say.

"I would love to" Ari smiled and leaned up to give Steve another quick kiss, and then entered his car.

 

It was ten thirty already, and there was no sign of Danny and Grace. Usually they got here around ten, Grace kicking her father out of bed early so they could make the most out of the day. He decided to give them another half hour before he called, in case they were sleeping in.

A few minutes later he got a text from Danny.

_Is it okay if we come over?_

That had Steve confused, because since that second Saturday, a year and a half ago, Danny has not once asked if it was okay for them to come. It was always a given.

_Of course..?_

Steve didn't receive an explanation text in return, and instead was greeted with two Williamses storming into his house about fifteen minutes later.

Gracie ran in, hugged him, talked a mile a minute mostly about surfing, and ran right into Mary's room to change.

"Hey" Danny laughed at how Grace was acting, and handed Steve one of the two grocery bags he was carrying. "She's really excited, in case you can't tell"

"Could have fooled me" Steve followed Danny into the kitchen. "So what's with the text?"

"What?" Steve could tell that Danny heard him.

"You sent a text before coming over, what's up with that?" Steve crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen doorframe.

"I just wasn't sure how, huh… _well_ your date went" there was a very slight blush coloring his face.

"What does… Oh" Steve wasn't sure what to say to that, and pretty much just froze up.

"Just didn't want to intrude" Danny finally said, turning to put the cheese and ground meat, for the lasagna he was probably making later, in the fridge.

"Danny, Saturdays are our days, I'm not just going to call it off without informing you. Especially since Grace has been looking forward to these surf lessons for months." Steve said, finally gathering his thoughts.

"Okay, good. You can, though, you know" Danny passed by him to the living room.

"Can what?" Steve followed.

"You can call it off if you have something with Ariel, or anything really. It's not set in stone, you don't have to feel obligated" Danny shrugged.

"I don't feel obligated, I love having you here" Steve wasn't sure where Danny was going with this.

"Okay, just know that you can if you want"

"I know"

"Know what?" Gracie asked, coming out of her room. _Mary's_ , Steve corrected himself.

"Nothing Monkey, you ready to go surfing?" Danny asked.

"Yes, can we go now Uncle Steve?"

"Sure can, but I think you might be missing something" Steve eyed her carefully, pretending to think what was missing.

"I need Mary's board" Gracie bounced up and down.

"Oh, that's right, I knew we were forgetting something" Steve jumped to get the boards from the lanai, Danny laughing as he went.

"Oh. My. God." Gracie gasped when Steve presented her with her pink board with blue waves at the bottom, and just above the waves was her name in lighter pink. "Oh my God, I love it" She ran over and hugged him tightly. "Thank you _so_ much Uncle Steve"

"You're welcome, Gracie" He hugged her back and looked up at Danny, to see him shooting him a look.

"You said it was Mary's old board. Was Mary's nickname Grace by any chance?" Steve let go of Gracie, letting her admire her new board. He couldn't be happier with her response to it.

"It _is_ her board, I just needed to get it fixed up a bit, so while I was at it I had it recolored for Gracie" He shrugged, nudging Danny with his elbow. Danny's expression changed after he realized he wasn't conned into anything.

"That's really great of you, Steve" Danny said sincerely, smiling now. Steve just shrugged in response.

 

Sunday night Steve was taking the steaks out of the freezer and putting them in water to defrost them when he heard the front door open. There was still about an hour before Ari was due there and Steve didn't think he'd come in without knocking anyway.

"I'm going to kill her" he heard Danny's voice as he stormed into the kitchen, hands gesturing widely. "I'm going to kill her, Steven. I can't deal with her anymore" he paced back and forth.

"What did she do?" Steve asked, not bothering to ask who he was talking about. It was six thirty on a Sunday on a Grace weekend, which meant that Danny just came back from dropping her off at Rachel's.

"My wonderful, dear ex-wife just informed me that she'd be taking my daughter for a month, a whole month, to visit her snotty mother in England. One whole month, Steven!" Steve moved to stand in front of Danny, blocking his path so he'd stand still. "I wanted to take her to see my folks for a week, and she fought me tooth and nail about that. One miserable week, and she's taking my daughter to a whole other country for a month!" He was running one hand through his hair, pulling at it slightly. "I'm telling you, she's doing it on purpose. She's angry that I won at court and that Grace is staying here, so she's taking her from me for a month! How is that fair, huh? Tell me how is that fair?" Danny was fuming.

"It's not" Steve agreed. He couldn't stand the way Rachel treated Danny, and this was going too far. "Can you talk to your lawyer, see if there's anything you can do? I mean, you have to agree for her to exit the country, don't you?"

"That's the thing, she already told Grace. _And_ , mind you, told her not to tell me until she had a chance to talk to me herself. She made my daughter _lie_ to me, Steven. And Grace's really excited, and she wants to see her grandma, so that doesn't leave me much of a choice." Danny threw his hands up, defeated.

"I can't believe she's doing that to you. Can't you at least make her go for a shorter time? And what about school, can she miss that much school?" Steve tried to fix it for Danny, hating the sadness that showed in his eyes.

"No, it's during the summer, so no school. And she said that after they're back I can take Grace to Jersey, 'but not right away, Daniel, because it might be too much for her'" Danny mimicked Rachel's voice, rolling his eyes. "Of course it's too much for her, you're taking a ten year old abroad for a month" Danny said, the wind leaving his sails slightly.

"There's that at least. You can see your family, Gracie will spend some uninterrupted quality time with her Danno" Steve said, trying to make him look at the upside.

"Yeah, that's good. But a month is just-" Danny took in his surroundings for a moment and stopped talking. There were two wine glasses out, a bottle of wine, and a salad that Steve finished making just before taking out the steaks. "You have a date" Danny observed, that emotion Steve could never quite place clouding his blue eyes.

"Yeah" Steve nodded.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I'll get out of your way. Here I am ranting your ear off and you probably need to get ready" Danny waved his hand at Steve's board shorts and T-shirt.

"Hey, don't worry about that, this is important" Steve countered, knowing just how hard being away from Grace for a whole month would be on her father. It won't be a walk in a park for him either, if he was being honest, and not only because he'll be the one who would have to deal with Danny while she was gone.

"It is, but it can wait. We'll talk tomorrow, you have a date" Danny said, moving towards the door.

"Danny, stop it, I can cancel" The words were out of his mouth before he even thought about it. He would much rather hang out with Danny, drinking beer and grilling the steaks he had ready, than be on a date with Ari. And that was exactly why he shouldn't, exactly why he had to move the fuck on already.

"What? No, you can't cancel. She's probably going to be here any minute, what are you talking about?" Danny rolled his eyes at Steve, as if to ask 'how stupid are you?'

"I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks, Babe" Danny said and was out the door before Steve had a chance to protest again.

 

The date was nice, but Steve's heart was just not in it. He kept thinking about Danny, and Grace, and Danny, and Rachel, and Danny, and yeah, mostly Danny. He was concerned and upset for him, but it also did him no good to see Danny right before the date, which was supposed to make Steve forget about him.

They talked and ate and made out on the couch like a couple of teenagers, but again, it was _wrong._ It felt good having a warm body there, holding him, kissing him, but it was not the warm body he wanted. He tried, he really did, to enjoy the moment, but he couldn't. He pulled back from Ari.

"I think we should, uh… take things slow?" Because he _did_ want to. He wanted to want Ari, he wanted this to work, but right this second it just wouldn't. And Ari was a really nice guy, with some time it _might_ actually work.

"Okay…" Ari said, breathing in, clearly trying to compose himself. "Is everything okay, Steve?"

"Yes, everything's great. I had a great time, I just…" He had nothing. How could he explain this?

"Okay, sure. You want to take things slow, we'll take things slow" Ari nodded in agreement.

 

The following week Danny was acting weird. At first Steve thought that it was because of the whole Rachel thing, but he wasn't sure anymore. Usually they met up a lot during the week at the off hours, hanging out at Steve's mostly. Danny stopped just showing up, unless Steve invited him, and even then he was hesitant about it, asking Steve if he was sure, saying that they could hang out another day if Steve was busy. Steve figured that Danny felt bad about almost crashing his date, but Steve had no intentions of seeing Ari until the weekend. He told him that he was busy, and while Ari texted him a few times Steve didn't really carry on a conversation, finding that method of communication pretty damn awful. He wasn't sure how to tell Danny that.

 

"So are you seeing Ariel tonight?" Danny asked Friday afternoon, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Yeah, we're going out" Steve nodded, not making eye contact, looking through the file he was holding instead.

"Oh, okay" Danny nodded and turned to go to his office.

"Why?" Steve asked, looking up now.

"Nothing, just wanted to see if you wanted to get some takeout or something" Danny shrugged.

"Sorry, tomorrow night?" Steve asked. He knew that the weekends Danny didn't have Grace were tough on him. Probably more so now, that he knew that he'd have to say goodbye to her for more than four weeks in just a few short months.

"Sure, if you're not busy" Danny shrugged.

"Okay" Steve smiled, searching Danny's eyes for hidden meaning. He could read any criminal like an open book, yet somehow there was always something in Danny that he couldn't pin down.

 

"Hey" Steve smiled as Ari entered the car and leaned in to give him a short kiss. Well not even that, just a quick peck. Not a very good sign, considering they were only on their third or fourth date, if you can count the bar as one. To an outsider they would seem like an old married couple with no passion in sight. Steve chose not to pay it too close attention.

"Hi, handsome" Ari smiled back, closing the truck's door behind him.

"So, where too?"  Steve asked, getting his car into gear.

"Want some Chinese?" Ari asked.

"Yeah, I know a place" Steve smiled, not mentioning that it was the usual place he and Danny got Chinese takeout from. It was a good place, it's not like he chose it because of Danny, so that was allowed.

 

Steve was listening to Ari's story about how the tourist he took diving that day freaked out when he saw the baby tiger shark, when suddenly he couldn't breathe.

A few feet away from them, waiting for his takeout order, was none other than Danny Williams. Steve's eyes grew wide and his mind was running through possible scenarios of what was to come. He knew that Danny would see them the moment he turned to walk out, so he figured it would be less awkward if he just called his name and acted casual about the whole thing. Right?

"Danny" Steve called, rudely interrupting Ari's story. Danny quickly turned around and when he saw Steve smiled and walked over to their table. "That's my partner" Steve explained to Ari, who looked confused and a tiny bit irritated, before Danny got to them.

"Hey" Danny smiled, coming to stand next to Steve. "What are you doing here, didn't you have plans?" He looked between him and Ari. "Hi, Danny Williams" He extended his hand.

"Ari Bloom" Ari shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you" Danny smiled. "Don't you have a date tonight?" He turned to Steve.

"I do. This is Ariel" Steve motioned with his hand back to Ari. Danny looked confused, looking between Steve and Ari for a moment.

"What?" He finally asked.

"Um, yeah" Steve nodded, looking at Danny, avoiding Ari's accusing eyes.

"You're on a date? With a guy?" There was fire burning in Danny's eyes while he glared at Ari.

"Danno," Steve started but Danny turned his gaze back towards him, and what he saw there made the rest of the sentence disappear. Danny was _mad_ , he was _furious,_ and if looks could kill Steve would have been long gone.

"I gotta go" Danny turned to leave, not sparing a second glance at either of them, takeout forgotten.

Steve just sat there for a moment, processing what just occurred.

"You want to explain what that was?" Ari asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I… uh…" Steve was still thinking about the way Danny looked at him. "I'll be right back. Excuse me" He quickly got out of his chair and chased after Danny.

Danny was already inside the Camaro so Steve knocked on his window. Danny opened it slightly.

"Danny" Steve started but was cut off.

"Steve, not now" There was so much anger there, "I can't even look at you right now" He shook his head and before Steve had a chance to come up with an answer to that, Danny drove off.

Steve didn't know what to think. He knew that Danny would be a little mad, and probably hurt, that Steve didn't tell him he was bisexual. He knew that Danny would need a little time to adjust, but he never imagined Danny would react like this. What was it about? Was he a homophobe? Because that didn't fit with the Danny Steve knows. The thought that this might be a problem for them, for their friendship and working relationship, never crossed his mind. Could he have been wrong about that?

Defeated, Steve walked back into the restaurant.

"So, that's your partner" Ari said when Steve sat down.

"That's the one"

"He didn't know you are gay" It wasn't a question.

"He didn't. I… uh, I'm sorry about…" Steve's mind was running a mile a minute.

"Honestly I'm just trying to figure out what just happened" Ari said, his irritation fading a little.

"You and me both" Steve ran his hand over his face, trying to collect himself.

"You're into him, huh?" Ari asked and Steve froze in place.

"Yes" Steve finally said. "I'm sorry, this is so fucked up"

"It's okay. We've only gone out a few times, you don't owe me anything" Ari shrugged, though he did look disappointed.

"I'm still sorry. I don't know what to even say about… I don't know why he acted that way" Steve shook his head.

"I think you should talk to him" Ari said, putting some money on the table. "Listen to what he has to say, it might surprise you" He stood up and moved around the table to kiss Steve on the cheek.

"Thanks, Ari. And I really am sorry" Steve looked up at him.

"I know you are, you're a good guy. Call me if you get over your partner" Ari smiled and walked to the door, leaving Steve at their table for another good fifteen minutes.

 

Steve tried to open Danny's door but it was locked, so for the first time in a long time he knocked.

"I don't want to talk right now, Steve" Danny shouted from inside. "Please just go away and give me some time. I'll talk to you on Monday" He didn't sound as angry as before. He sounded defeated.

"Open up, Danny" Steve called back, not giving a fuck about the time Danny claimed to need. He deserved answers. When he didn't hear any movement inside he took out his key and entered, uninvited.

"McGarrett, get out of my house" Danny was sitting on the couch, his head cradled in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

"Like hell I am. What was that back there?" Steve was angry. He didn't do anything to deserve to be treated that way.

"That's what I'd like to know! What was that back there, huh Steven?" He leaned back, looking up at Steve, his eyes a little redder than usual.

"Danny, I know I should have told you before, I get that as my best friend you deserved to know. I'm sorry about that, but I hardly think it justifies this kind of a response" Steve sat down on Danny's coffee table, a foot to Danny's left.

"You're damn right I deserved to know!" Danny's hands flew around. "I deserved to know a very long time ago. I can't believe that I… And now you're… Damn it" Danny shook his head, covering it with his hands again.

"Danny what are you talking about? So it took me some time to tell you, but I did. Why are you acting like it's the end of the fucking world?" Steve asked, because he really didn't like the answer that was looming in the back of his mind. Danny couldn't be this way. Danny was too good-hearted, too kind and accepting, to ever hate people for being themselves. To ever hate _Steve_. Right?

"Because that's what it feels like, okay? I'm sorry I'm so pathetic, but that's what it fucking feels like!" He glared at Steve in a way that made him freeze up.

"I got to tell you, partner, I never thought you'd react that way" Steve put on the mask the Navy perfected for him. He couldn't let Danny see what this was doing to him. "Homophobia doesn't suit you" that was all he had in him at the moment, because every ounce of energy he had went into keeping that mask up. Into not letting Danny see.

"What?" Danny asked, clearly confused. "What homophobia? I'm not homophobic you idiot!" He raised his voice. "How could _I_ be homophobic?"

Danny was mad and hurt and it looked like he was about to bite Steve's head off, yet Steve was relieved. He didn't know what would happen tonight, but Danny was the person he always knew he was. That was something to hold on to, at least.

"Then what is it about?" Steve asked, letting the mask drop slowly. It was Danny, no need for his mask here.

"Do you know, do you have _any idea_ , what it felt like? Seeing you there with _that guy_?" there was so much venom in his voice. "I can't believe I convinced myself… what a moron!"

"Convinced yourself what, Danno? Talk to me" Steve was begging.

"I always thought," Danny returned back to the position Steve found him in when he entered the room, avoiding his eyes. "We are so close, we are such good friends. You practically co-parent my daughter with me, we spend so much time outside of work together, we just work, you know?" He asked, not really looking for an answer. Steve gave him one regardless.

"I know" He nodded.

"So I kept telling myself that I wasn't an idiot, that I wasn't _completely_ out of my mind for feeling the way I do. I always thought that we were _this_ " Danny motioned between them, still not looking at Steve, "because you were straight. That you could never want me, no matter how close we were. So I wasn't an idiot for feeling like I do, I convinced myself, like the fucking moron that I am, that you would feel the same if you were capable" Danny finally looked up, but Steve didn't respond. "I just always thought that if you were gay, you'd want _me._ That I would be you're first choice" When Steve didn't answer Danny nudged his knee with his. "Say something"

"I…" Steve started but couldn't finish. He was trying to understand, to process, what Danny had just told him.

"It's pathetic, I know. And I don't have any right to be mad at you about this. That's why I didn't want to talk today. I guess… that was just my way of coping with my feelings for you. I'm sorry to be dumping all of this on you like this"

"You have feelings for me?" because with everything Danny had said, with all the meaning that his words held, all that kept looping around in Steve's head was: _My feelings for you, my feelings for you, my feelings for you_.

"I'm sorry" Danny looked so broken. "Let's… Let's pretend that all of this never happened, okay? Let's just go back to how we were before I crashed your date"

"No" Steve was aware that he sounded too panicked, but all of his emotions were heightened right now and he wasn't sure how to contain everything.

Steve stood, pulling Danny up with him. For a second Danny looked like he was afraid Steve would punch him or something. And how fucking messed up _is that_? But then Steve pulled him flush against his body, pressing his lips to Danny's. He didn't move, didn't dare to, and just waited to see what Danny would do.

"Steve" Danny moaned softly before he attacked Steve's lips, his hands moving to the back of his head. And that was it, the dam broke and Steve couldn't hold himself back anymore. This was everything he ever wanted, having Danny in his arms, kissing him and touching him like this. It was electric and so fucking hot and the energy danced between them. Steve slid his hands around Danny's waist and pulled him impossibly closer. But then Danny pulled back, pushing hard against Steve's chest.

"I can't do this" Danny shook his head.

"What?" Steve was aware that he sounded on the verge of tears, but he would swear to God he wasn't.

"You're with someone else, Steve" Danny ran a hand through his hair. "I know I was practically throwing myself at you tonight, but I'm not some easy lay. And this can't be just about sex." Danny explained.

"I'm not with anyone else" Steve shook his head, moving forward to grab Danny again, but Danny pulled back.

"You were _just_ on a date, Steven"

"And after you left we broke it off. Not that there was much to break"

"Oh" Steve could practically see Danny's thoughts running wild. He decided to take another step forward, his hands searching Danny's waist. Danny again took a step back, and Steve was just about to lose his mind. "What?" He asked Danny, confused. Didn't he just admit to wanting Steve? Wanting Steve in the same way Steve wanted him? "I thought you said you wanted this".

"I do, but Babe, do you? This can't be just a spur of the moment decision; you must know what this would do to us, right?" The guarded look in Danny's eyes made his heart stop. Did he really think Steve was willing to risk their friendship just for sex? Did he really not see what he meant to Steve?

"Danno, listen to me" Steve grabbed his shoulders, and this time Danny did not move away, thankfully. "I want this. I _have_ wanted this for _a while_. Hell, the only reason I was on that date tonight was because I was trying to get over you"

"You were?" Danny's eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"Yes. I didn't think I would ever get this. Get you. And it was starting to affect my work. When you, uh, you got hit in your knee, I…" He wanted Danny, wanted him so much, but would this compromise their work? Would he act like that every time something happened to Danny? Because they couldn't have that. He was so happy that Danny felt the same that this thought wasn't even on his mind until now.

"Hey, hey" Danny lifted Steve's hands off his shoulders and took them in his. "I know that it's something we'll have to adjust to, and that it might take a little time in the field, but if it's what we both want then we can do this, okay? We can figure it out" Danny looked into his eyes and for the first time tonight he looked sure of what was happening.

"Okay" Steve agreed.

"Okay" Danny repeated. They established what this was, that they both wanted it, but now it seemed like they were frozen in their places. The monumental significance of what was to come apparently turned them into stone.

After a moment Danny started laughing and turned his head to the side, shaking it. It seemed like he was trying to calm himself down, but it broke Steve out of his little trance and drove him into action.

Steve moved his hands to Danny's cheeks and turned his head towards him, immediately joining their lips. This kiss was softer, full of promises and relief. Danny's hands moved to Steve's back, and Steve's sneaked to Danny's neck. Their lips moved slowly and their tongues explored with intensity.

Danny pulled back and for a moment Steve thought about panicking, before he saw the look Danny had on, one of unadulterated joy. Steve rested his forehead on Danny's, smiling down at him. He couldn't believe that this was actually happening. It felt like a dream.

"Wow" Danny whispered but didn't give Steve a chance to respond. He launched forward, kissing Steve, his hands running up and down his body. Steve pushed Danny down to the couch, covering his body with his. He moved his lips to Danny's neck, sucking on his pulse point while their bodies moved against one another, hands roaming free.

Steve opened each button of Danny's shirt, kissing the newly exposed skin as he went. Finally he pushed the shirt off of Danny and made his way back to his lips, his hands softly caressing over Danny's nipples.

"Do you like this shirt?" Danny breathed out, his hips now moving against Steve's, effectively creating some much needed friction between them.

"Not especially" Steve whispered against Danny's shoulder. Danny took Steve's answer as an invitation, grabbed the collar of the button down Steve wore for his date, and tore it open, buttons flying everywhere. His hands were now on Steve's back, still beneath the shirt.

"I want it off" Danny quickly rid Steve of his shirt. Before Steve knew what was happening Danny flipped them over, so Steve was now lying on the couch with Danny straddling his waist. Danny leaned forward, his hands on Steve's waist, as he kissed Steve's shoulder and licked his way down his forearm. At first Steve didn't have any idea what Danny was doing but then he looked at what he was tracing and realized that Danny was going over the outline of his tattoo with his tongue.

"Fuck, Danno" Steve whispered and moved his hands to Danny's ass, thrusting up against Danny's hard cock, making Danny stop and moan out Steve's name. That was all it took for them to end the foreplay, because after such a long wait, Danny was his and Steve couldn't wait one second longer.

Danny quickly rid them both of their pants. Steve stared up at Danny, sitting above him in only his briefs, his cock tenting them. Steve grabbed Danny through his underwear and started rubbing him softly. Danny moaned and Steve sat up to cover Danny's mouth with his, circling his free arm around him.

Danny stood, quickly taking off his underwear, causing Steve to moan just from the sight of him. Danny smiled at that, and quickly took Steve's off as well. He kissed the tip of his cock, and Steve couldn't help but buck his thighs up into Danny's waiting mouth. He bobbed his head up and down Steve's hard length a few times, and Steve thought he was going to pass out from the sensation. Danny stopped, and instead sat back on the couch and pulled Steve over him, aligning their hard-ons together. Steve took charge and rubbed against Danny in a rhythm that was driving both them crazy.

"Danny" Steve moaned, kissing his partner. "Fuck, look at you" He was in awe from the sight before him, Danny's mouth open slightly, his eyes sparkling and his hair sticking out all around his face. The feeling of him and seeing him like this was almost too much for Steve to handle.

"Babe, please" Danny bucked up, grabbing Steve's ass to push him down against him. "Come, Steve. Come for me" he said before kissing Steve passionately again.

A few moments later Steve just couldn't hold back anymore, coming hard, chanting Danny's name over and over again. That drove Danny over the edge as well, and damn if it wasn't the hottest thing Steve has ever seen.

They laid there, tangled together on the couch, messy and exhausted, for what felt like an hour, but was probably only a few minutes.

"If you want to do that again" Danny broke the silence, "I need you to move a little or you'll suffocate me". Steve laughed and rearranged them in a way that had Steve lying on the couch, with Danny under his arm. Danny wrapped his hands around Steve tightly and kissed his shoulder.

"So" Steve laughed, "You have a thing for my tattoos"

"Yup" Danny nodded. "You have no idea what it did to me every time I saw them peeking out under your sleeves. And don't think I'm done with them, I barely got my quality time with them tonight"

"Well the night isn't over yet" Steve smiled what was probably the biggest smile he had on in ages.

"And we have more than just tonight, right?" Danny seemed sure that he was correct but there was some hesitancy in his eyes.

"Of course, Danno" He said softly. "If it's up to me, we have forever" When did he turn into such a sap?

"Aww…" Danny mocked, but Steve could see the happiness in his eyes as Danny leaned in to kiss him. "I can't believe this is actually happening. I wanted you for so long" He admitted.

"Me too" Steve whispered against Danny's lips, pulling him even closer.

 

It was Saturday, and Steve and Grace were just exiting the water, laughing and goofing around. Steve loved his quality time with Gracie, because while spending time with her and Danny was everything he could ever need, he loved knowing that he was special enough for her to spend so much time with him by pure choice. She loved Steve, and he knew that their time together meant a lot to her too. He hoped that when she grew up they'd still have that in one way or another.

"Hey, Danno" Grace called as she ran past the kitchen into her room to change.

"Hey, Danno" Steve repeated and leaned in to kiss his partner softly, loving the way Danny leaned into him. "You ready?" Steve asked, pulling back just a tiny bit.

"Yeah, as ready as I'll ever be" Danny shrugged with a smile. They were about to tell Gracie the news, and Steve knew that Danny was eating himself up about it. Rationally they both knew that Grace will not have any problem with it, but that didn't stop them from worrying a little. "Go change, the food's ready".

When they were all finished with the pasta Steve took Danny's hand under the table.

"Monkey, we need to tell you something" Danny said, looking nervous.

"Oh my God! Oh my God, what?" Gracie was jumping up and down in her chair, but it was clear that she knew where this was going. Steve laughed.

"Monkey, Steve and I are engaged" Danny said, smiling at his daughter.

"Yes! I knew it! Kono said that it would take you some more time, but I knew it!" She jumped off her chair and moved to hug Steve and Danny. "I'm so happy!" She kissed each of their cheeks.

Steve and Danny were together for a whole year before Steve deemed it was appropriate to finally pop the question. It had been in the back of his mind after just a couple of months into their relationship, but he knew that it was too soon, so he held back. Imagine his surprise when he was greeted with a "finally, what took you so long?" from Danny when he asked.

Steve remembered that just a year ago he wished that he'd have those Saturdays for the rest of his life, never thinking it would actually happen. Danny laughed from Grace's reaction and pulled Steve down for a quick kiss.

"Just so we're clear" Grace said, moving to stand before them, putting both hands on the table and shooting them her attempt at a menacing glare, reminding Steve way too much of Danny when he's questioning a suspect. "I'm the wedding planner, right?"

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! The title is from these song lyrics: "You told me you love me, but it's time to move on. It's so hard to get up when you fall. So I wrote a song about love, and it's sad 'cause it won't be enough. So I wrote a song about love, but it's nothing at all." – Lee DeWyze, A Song about Love.


End file.
